I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Randomize
