She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Randomize
