goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize