I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
