you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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