Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
