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I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
