So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I need to calm my uterus...
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize