come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
