At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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