Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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