I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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