just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
