I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
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