Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Its about making memories worth repressing
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize