I CAN MOONWALK!
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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