Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
its not stalking. its research.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
