Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize