Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
