quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Even my vagina gasped.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
