you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
