I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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