would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
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