My friends, they love my intelligence
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
