Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
