you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize