when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
And then he peed in my hair
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