at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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