If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
