Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
