Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
