just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Congratulations! We have a period
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