so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
