how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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