office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Randomize
