Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
