just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
