STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
