i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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