Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
