Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Is Oprah even human
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
