i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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