I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Randomize
