apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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