He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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