i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
