So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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