Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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