He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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