what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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