I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
