Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
