shes about as inviting as chlamydia
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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