whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
