think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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