Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
When did angry sex become our thing?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
