I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
