I can't breathe out the right side of my face
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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