Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
