There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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